Another Overheard Conversation

This is what I overheard between Daugher and Husband while he was playing Madden on PS.

DAUGHTER: Is Kevin number fiveteefive jersey?

HUSBAND: Do you mean fifty-five?

DAUGHTER: That's what I said-fiveteefive.

Changing the subject

HUSBAND: Why did you give Mommy a hard time at the store?

DAUGHTER: I like your sweater, Daddy.

Rumor has it...

...My replacement has been fairly vocal that she will not be returning to that job next year. Hah! Can't hack it? Who cares. So Leon and I are plotting how I can get my old job back. First, I can finally change my name. So that might get me an interview. But what if they recognize me at the interview? Second, keep growing my hair long, maybe add some blonde highlights, and lose about 50 pounds (this is where my secondary plan of winning the next season of The Biggest Loser comes in). Next, I should find some kind of vocal coach and learn some exotic accent that will really throw them. I have such a long time to plan this....I'm so psyched.

Advertising Genius

LEON:What's that smell?

ME: Lysol.

EVELYN: Cuz kids and germs go hand in hand.

Career Change

I've compiled a list of jobs/careers I would like to have. Now, I'm not even sure if they all exist, but if (either of the two of) my followers know of any openings or how to get started in these careers, please let me know. And just to clarify, I have to be able to earn a living at these jobs.
1. Video game tester
2. Prima ballerina
3. knot untier
4. test writer
5. test reader
6. secret shopper
7. secret diner
8. secret airline customer (exotic locations preferred)
9. online game tester
10. typist
11. judge for "So You Think You Can Dance?"
12. resume & cover letter writer
13. ice hockey player
14. hockey rink manager
15. movie critic
16. TV critic
17. stage hand
18. tip calculator
19. origami artist
20. regional co-manager of a northeastern PA mid-range paper company (hey if they can have two regional managers why not three?)
21. IKEA display assembler
22. Focus group contributor (especially for mom-related products)
23. math textbook evaluator
24. doodler
25. cartoon colorist
26. trashy novel critic
27. beach bum
28. sports statistician
29. sesame street mupeteer
30. Mattress tester
31. dyson vacuum tester
32. ice-cream taste-tester.
Stay-tuned. If I think of new ones I'll add them to the list!

?

I thought of a better title for this blog. But I don't know how to change it. Am I stuck with this stupid name forever?

Jif V. Nutella

So this post doesn't have anything to do with unemployment. However, it's something that's been eating away at me lately (and it does show the amount of time I have on my hands).

Which is better for you: Jif or Nutella?

I have it in my head that Nutella isn't any worse for you than peanut butter. Maybe I'm just trying to make excuses since Nutella is the heavenly on the tongue. Can you tell which one I like better? So I got out the jars to do a full comparison. I actually do not have Jif, I have the store-brand peanut butter since I can't afford luxuries like name-brand foods. I did, however, have to spring for the name-brand hazelnut spread since there is no store-brand.

Here we go-

Nutella P. Butter
serving size 2 tbsp 2 tbsp
calories 190 200 Yeah, Nutella!
fat cal 100 140 YES!
total fat 11 g 16 g Still good!
sat fat 3.5 g 3.5 g even
sodium 15 g 150 g Take that, peanut butter!
Total carb 22 g 7 g Uh-oh
fiber 1 g 2 g hmm
sugars 21 g 3 g Ouch!
protein 3 g 8g Ugh

Well, I don't think THAT really settled anything. Strictly calorie-wise, Nutella is a slightly better choice. But who only eats two tablespoons? It's impossible. There is a significant amount more of sugar in my beloved Nutella. Sniff, sniff....all this because someone posted a nutella croissant recipe on facebook and reminded me of the spreadable deliciousness. Oh well, I'll probably forget all about nutella in a week or so and won't even remember why I wasted time writing this post.

Maybe they should pull those nutella commercials. I don't remember nutella commercials before...