DAUGHTER: Why do you have hair on your butt?
ME: I don't know. Everyone gets it when they grow up.
DAUGHTER: Will I have a hairy butt?
DAUGHTER: When I'm sixteen.
DAUGHTER: Why don't you shave your hairy butt?
ME: I don't know. [But I'm thinking to myself: "I used to have time to take care of that. But now I spend most of my 'free' time having these conversations with a four-year-old."]