This is a GOOD one I forgot

In the Magic Kingdom...

FOUR-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER: Look Mom! Elephant topiaries!

MOM: Yeah!...Wait, did you say "topiaries?"

DAUGHTER: Elephant topiaries!

MOM: How do you know what topiaries are?

DAUGHTER: Mae-mae and I buy them on FarmVille.

And you thought Social Networking couldn't be educational!
[By the way, Blogger spellcheck didn't like "topiaries" OR "FarmVille"]

Four-Year-Old at the Dentist

In the dentist's chair...

DAUGHTER: You can stop now!

DENTIST: I can stop as soon as we're finished.

DAUGHTER: Are you finished now?

Meanwhile, Mom & Hygienists try not to laugh.

Not at all vain

Here's what she said when she got up this morning:

"I can't wear this [Disney Princess nightgown] to dance. I'll be too pretty."

@#$%!

I'm begining to think being a bitch is good for my health. It certainly is helping my depression, too.

Seriously, who voted for this guy?

Gov. Christie's educational budget cuts are so drastic, I don't see how districts will deal without major staff cuts. RIFs all-around. Now I have very little hope of finding a job for next school year.

This is one for the "Use This To Embarass Her Later" file

DAUGHTER: My butt itches.

ME: Well, lets get some powder and then air it out.

DAUGHTER: It feels like ants.

ME: [Little dance action] Ants in your pants?

DAUGHTER: No, crabs.

ME: Crabs? In your pants.

DAUGHTER: They're biting me! Biting crabs!

The rest of your life IS all about SAT scores

My blog must be more popular than I thought! Look at the email I got:

I think it's sad that we haven't spoken in very many years and I am not sure what it is that I did to you, but to write a blog about me and hating me, my life and my accomplishments is just bizarre. That's just horrible and I am still left wondering, what is it I ever did to you? The answer: nothing.

I think it's just pathetic that you feel that I don't deserve the things I have accomplished when you don't even know what it is I have accomplished or how hard I have worked the past 10 years to get to where I am today.

You are right about a few things though...i have a great job, an amazing and good looking husband, an adorable daughter and a nice big house to call home, so yes, my life is good whether I deserve it or not.

Just to clear the record on a few things becuase if you are going to post things about me, then at least make sure they are true...

I was just as smart, if not smarter then you in high school, as I graduated with a 3.95 and a 1420 on my SAT's. I took every Honors and AP class offered except AP Biology. I guess you just thought I was dumb.

I went to Columbia, where did you go to school if you were so much smarter?

I have a JD and an MBA and graduated with honors on both degrees.

My new job as head of a global unit came because I have those 2 degrees, went to amazing schools and worked as a Risk manager prior to this job for one of the largest hotel operators worldwide.

I am a lawyer, as you obviously know, so if you don't take the blog down you will hear from my attorney, especially since it's in a public venue where people can read it and I am putting you on notice.

I hope that you find some peace in your obviously miserable life. As for whoever is feeding you the information about me, as we are not friends on facebook and never will be, so you can obviously see it somehow...tell them they are pathetic too.

See you at the 15 year reunion.

Yes! Can't wait to see you!